Gay Jokes

Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay?
A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.

Q: How do you fit four gays on a bar stool?
A: Turn it upside down.

Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.

Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?
A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"

Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag?
A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Q: Whats the most popular pick up line in a gay bar?
A: "May I push in your stool?"

Q: Which is better, being born black or gay?
A: Black, because you don't have to tell your parents.

Five guys were in a bar. Feeling slightly sloshed, they started to argue with each other about
the size of their penises. Eventually the discussion escalated into a full-blown argument,
with each man thinking his penis was the biggest. The bartender suggested, "Put them on
the bar so we can compare." The drunks did just that. Shortly, a gay man came in the bar,
looked around, and said to the bartender, "I think I'll have the buffet."

A gay guy goes into a doctors for results of an AIDS test. "Well? What's the news?" "Not
good I'm afraid" replied the doctor "You're positive." The man broke down crying "What am I
going to do?" he sobs. "Well, I suggest you go home and drink 10 pints of beer then go out
and have yourself a very large spicy curry and wash it down with another 10 pints of beer."
"Is that going to help?" he asks hopefully. "No, but it'll teach you what your asshole is really
meant for."

This man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the
bartender over and says, "I'd like to buy those two ladies a drink." The bartender replies, "It
won't do you any good." The man, with a confused look on his face says, "It doesn't matter,
I want to buy those women a drink." The bartender delivers the drinks to the ladies and the
ladies acknowledge the drink with a nod of their heads. About a half-hour later, the man
approaches the women and says, "I'd like to buy you two another drink." The women both
reply, "It won't do you any good." The man says, "I don't understand. What do you mean it
won't do me any good?" The first lady says, "We're lesbians." The man replies, "Lesbians?
What are lesbians?" The second woman replies, "Lesbians... We like to lick pussies." The man
says, "Bartender, three beers for us lesbians."

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